Archive for November, 2009



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Spinning Plates

My Life:

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To: Elizabeth Morris
From: Lazy Eye Press
Subject: Your Submission

Dear Liz Morris,

Congratulations! On behalf of Lazy Eye Press, we would like to inform you that The Girl With Strawberry Hair has been selected as the winner of the poetry chapbook contest. Out of all of the submissions received, the editorial board determined that your piece contained the highest quality of writing and possessed a raw emotional heat. We are honored to share your work with the Susquehanna community.

As a winner of the contest, your work will be published in a chapbook , which will be made available to the university. A launch will be held sometime in the second week of December, at which you will read from your chapbook and your published work will be celebrated.

Once again, congratulations on your success, and thank you for choosing to submit to Lazy Eye Press.


Laura and Charlotte

Managing Editors, Lazy Eye Press

Lauren won too! I am so excited and happy about this. Especially that I won paired with Lauren.

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To: Randy Robertson
From: Elizabeth Morris
Subject: Tweets

Dear Randy,
As I’ve been finding no time to tweet (reading and writing the paper) I did some quick math to try to dissuade you from making us tweet the entire novel.

1) Let’s say we tweet 120 chapters of the 135 chapter (plus extracts and epiloque book.) That’s 240 tweets (serious and funny).

2) Each tweet is 140 characters, or less. However, considering, I’m going to use the max number of characters.
3) That’s 33,600 characters.
4) Let’s say again that each word is about 5 letters. This is generous. That’s 6,720 words.
5) My almost done midterm paper is about 1,720 words. So, to be generous, let’s round up to 2,000 when it’s done.
6) My midterm paper is worth 30% of my grade. You are asking us to tweet a word count equal to more than three midterm paper’s worth. Even if I were to be scant in this final calculation, it would be two midterm paper’s worth.

7) My tweeting is worth a small portion of the 20% of my participation grade.

As you can see, the work you are asking us to do for this is overbearing, considering it’s being assigned during the same two weeks as our midterm paper which is worth a considerably higher percentage. Of course I’m going to give precedence to the reading and the paper over this assignment. I would also like to point out that twitterature is by their definition (which can be redefined at any point, especially considering how new it is) twenty tweets OR LESS per book. Which means that our tweetage could cover 12 books.

I hope this dissuades so I don’t feel guilty if I can never get the assignment done.

All my affections,

From: Randy Roberston
To: Elizabeth Morris
Subject: re:Tweets

Wow, Ms. Morris, you should be a lawyer. Okay, let’s do this: stick to the original Twitterature formula–20 Tweets, but now over the course of the whole book. That’s still a total of 40 Tweets (20 for the serious version, 20 for the parody), but that should make Liz Morris’s life a lot easier. I’ll announce the changed assignment in class tomorrow; if I forget to do so, please remind me.

All my best,

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